


우리, 다시 (Us, Again)

by mydearsilhouette



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - College/University, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Kindergarten Teacher Kim Mingyu, Light Angst, M/M, Single Parent Xu Ming Hao | The8, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, but she isn't important, hao's daughter is very cute if you don't like her then you have a problem, like very very very light angst, mentioned gf for seok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:08:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27898084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mydearsilhouette/pseuds/mydearsilhouette
Summary: 8 years after their breakup in college, now single-dad Xu Minghao brings his daughter to kindergarten, only to be greeted by her new homeroom teacher–and his ex-boyfriend–Kim Mingyu.From rivals to lovers, to strangers, then to friends, and back to lovers. A domestic love story without a single “I love you” (I’m serious, do a word search and you won’t find one :D)
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Wen Jun Hui | Jun, Kim Mingyu/Xu Ming Hao | The8, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Mentioned Established Soonhoon, minor wonhui
Comments: 6
Kudos: 84





	1. Smile Flower Kindergarten

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Like my other fic The Story Never Ends, this is a revised compilation of my twitter au, 우리, 다시. If you are new to the story, parts of it can seem confusing since this only consists of the narration portion of the au (though I included some of the important text messages for understanding). If you are interested, you can find the character settings or read the full au [here](https://twitter.com/machereombre/status/1332560039882592260?s=20)! And again, this compilation is mostly for my own archive purpose, to have a fully beta’d version in case I want to revisit it in the future. If you came from twitter, thank you so much for your love along the way, and I hope you enjoy savoring the actual narration again without typos or grammar mistakes!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world must be really small.
> 
> It must be so small that among all the kindergartens that Minghao could have chosen in a metropolis like Seoul, all the classes that his daughter could have been in within this specific kindergarten, she ends up being the student of his college ex-boyfriend. 

_Recommended bgm: What A Time - Julia Michaels (ft. Niall Horan)_

↣ ⧪ ↢

“Daddy, can you hurry up? Can we go now?” Xinyi stands on her toes to pull on Minghao’s sleeve, which almost makes him tip the spoon over and spill the scrambled eggs. 

“I’m almost done, honey,” Minghao sighs and speeds up shoving breakfast into his mouth under his daughter’s nagging.

It’s Xinyi’s first day of school in Korea. Normally speaking, kids are pretty hesitant on their first day of school (if not crying at the top of their lungs that they don’t want to go anywhere without their parents). But Xinyi doesn’t seem to fit in the category.

She has picked out her favorite strawberry dress to wear despite the chilly weather (she successfully persuaded Minghao to let her wear it after promising to wear a pair of warm fuzzy stockings underneath) and made Minghao braid her dark, soft hair into two french braids, with matching pink bows to tie them off at the end. Any stranger would have thought she’s going to celebrate a holiday in that outfit.

Minghao doesn’t know where she gets that from, because it’s so completely unlike himself. _Maybe her birth parents,_ he thinks. He is always grateful for the woman who gave birth to his little angel, even though he has never met her in person. Not a single day goes by without him thanking her for bearing the little creature for 10 months in her womb.

When Minghao finally finishes eating, he and Xinyi pick up the empty plates to put in the dishwasher. The little girl almost flies off the stairs on their way to the car, her backpack jumping up and down at each of her bounce–thinking this will become the usual sight to start his morning from now on, Minghao can’t help but smile as he unlocks the car door. 

❀

“ _Smell_ Flower Kind… _kindagarden_ …” One hand in her dad’s, Xinyi frowns as she tries hard to read the lettering on the front gate.

“It’s Smile Flower Kindergarten, sweetheart,” corrects a friendly middle-aged woman, “Welcome! You must be Xinyi.”

Not a bit shy, Xinyi nods, beaming brightly. 

“You must be the headteacher,” Minghao bows politely to the woman. “Mrs. Park, thank you for helping us through the transfer process over the phone. It is really nice to meet you in person.”

“You are welcome, Mr. Seo,” Mrs. Park greets back warmly. Minghao pats slightly on Xinyi’s shoulder, speaks clearly and slowly in Korean: “Now, what are you going to say to Mrs. Park?”

“Good _Moorning_ , nice to meet you, Ma’am!” Xinyi says in her not-so-fluent Korean with full enthusiasm.

Mrs. Park giggles at her cuteness. “Good morning. I’m sure you will do well here, darling.”

“I would hope so. After all, she’s quite outgoing, and she likes to learn,” Minghao agrees, proudness of his daughter peeking out from his words, and gives her hand to Mrs. Park gently.

“That’s wonderful!” Spotting a tall figure moving towards the gate, Mrs. Park waves for the person to come over quickly. “That will be Xinyi’s homeroom teacher, I want to introduce you to him. That way if there is anything in the future, you can directly communicate with him.”

“That would be very nice,” Minghao accepts her kind consideration with a nod.

“Good morning Mrs. Park,” greets the tall man, his chocolate-colored locks shining under the late autumn sun, soft and fluffy.

“Mr. Seo, this is Mr. Kim, homeroom teacher of Sunflower Class.”

❀

The world must be really small.

It must be so small that among all the kindergartens that Minghao could have chosen in a metropolis like Seoul, all the classes that his daughter could have been in within this specific kindergarten, she ends up being the student of his college ex-boyfriend. 

But time isn't so generous, freezing itself to give him that much time to think. 

“Mingh… Mr. Seo,” the tall man in the pink apron bites down his own tongue greeting Minghao with a dry, nervous laugh. Surprised, and obviously uncomfortable. 

“Mr….” Minghao feels a lump in his throat as he tries to say the other’s name. Not a painful feeling, but not very pleasant, either. He clears his throat with a slight cough. “Mr. Kim.”

Mingyu looks at the little girl by Mrs. Park’s side, waves at her with a forced smile trying not to scare her. Then his eyes travel back to the black-haired man in front of him. 

“This… is your daughter.” It’s not a question, no. So there’s no need for Minghao to reply.

Mrs. Park gazes between the two, sensing the tension in the air. She chimes in gingerly. “Do… do you two know each other?”

“Well,” Mingyu glances at Minghao a little awkwardly, “We were–”

“–We knew _of_ each other in university,” Minghao jumps in before Mingyu’s words form into an answer, his voice almost mechanical. 

“Oh!” Mrs. Park makes an exaggerated exclamation. “What a coincidence!”

“I know, right?” Minghao’s brow quirks unnoticeably as he returns to wearing the warm but distant smile. Hearing an upbeat melody ring from the kindergarten building, Minghao kneels down by his daughter's side. She has been quietly observing the whole exchange with much confusion and an equal amount of curiosity. 

“Hey, sweetie,” as he whispers to her in Mandarin, the lines of his features immediately soften. “Daddy will be going now, I will pick you up after school. You will do well, won’t you?”

Xinyi nods. “I will be good and make a lot of friends!”

Minghao smiles, strokes her braids gently, and fixes the left bow that has become a little tilted in all her running. He rises. “Well, I’m sure you will take good care of her, _Mr. Kim._ ”

“Of course,” Mingyu’s voice is even drier than before, but it's not hard to tell he’s trying desperately to sound as normal as possible. He extends a hand to the little girl. “Xinyi, is that right? I’m Mr. Kim. It’s almost class time, let’s go into our Sunflower Class, what do you say?”

She runs to Mingyu's side to tug at his sleeve, a little habit of hers, excitement bursting out from her eyes in the shapes of stars. “Let’s go, let’s go! Xinyi wants a _Sunflower_!”

“Of course, you can have a sunflower.”

Minghao watches her disappear into a smaller and smaller dot tagging along with the familiar stranger. He opens the car door, but his motion to close it slows down as the rest of their conversation slips into the car between gushes of cold wind.

_“Mr. Kim, what is a_ **_Sunflower_ ** _?”_

_“You don’t know what a sunflower is and you want one already?”_

_“I don’t know, the word sounds pretty in Korean.”_

_“It’s a type of flower with a really pretty, bright yellow, and there are many many black seeds in between…”_

_“Wait, wait, you are speaking too fast!”_

_“Sorry, sorry! It’s a yellow flower, with, a lot of, black, seeds, in the middle.”_

_“What is_ **_seeds_ ** _?”_

_“It’s the little, hard thing that you plant in the soil.”_

_“What do you mean_ **_plant_ ** _?”_

_“That means….”_

_Maybe he isn’t that bad as a kindergarten teacher._

  
  


❀

The first week of school passes peacefully without requiring any contact with Mingyu besides their awkward greetings every morning and afternoon. Which isn’t too bad–Minghao can even say that it’s getting less and less uncomfortable by the day. They can almost look at each other in the eyes without having the urge to start a fight now, a big accomplishment. 

“Daddy, can you drive a little faster?” Seeing Minghao zone out and miss the green light, Xinyi gets agitated reading the clock.

Minghao zaps back into reality. “Sorry! But we still have time–there are only three more blocks.”

“I know,” Xinyi mumbles in her safety seat in the back, “But I have something special today.”

“What is it?”

Like an ostrich, she buries her head between her shoulders. “I can’t tell you.”

Minghao raises his chin in surprise, drags out a teasing tone. “I see, Xinyi, you are holding secrets from me now?”

“No!” Xinyi whines, pouting. “It’s not like that. Daddy, stop asking me questions!”

When Minghao walks out of the car to help her out of the seat as usual, she has already unbuckled herself. 

“Good morning, Xinyi!” By the front gate is Mingyu, wearing a blue apron with a cartoon cloud embroidered today. He smiles and waves.

“Mr. Kim!” She jumps out of the car with glee, runs to hug Mingyu’s thigh so excitedly that she even forgot to say goodbye to Minghao. 

“Are you ready for our project today?” With her most positive answer, Mingyu hugs her tightly while greeting two other kids who are just walking in. A stinging sour suffuses inside Minghao’s chest, but he doesn’t want to acknowledge it.

Seeing him still standing by the car, lost, Mingyu taps on Xinyi’s shoulder to have her turn around. “Remember to say goodbye to your daddy, he’s _sulking._ ”

The little triumphant smirk at Mingyu’s lips sets the nostalgic annoyance aflame. Minghao clicks his tongue. 

“Bye, daddy–let’s go, Mr. Kim! It’s cold outside!“

“Alright, whatever you say.”

No, Minghao needs to correct his previous statement. He can never live peacefully with the presence of this man. _Never_.

❀

“So,” begins Soonyoung chewing on a mouthful of white rice, “I heard you and the transfer kid’s dad were college mates.”

Mingyu almost chokes on his ramyeon. “Well, I guess you can say that.”

“What a coincidence. You know, Jihoon and I were high school classmates,“ Soonyoung scoops up some kimchi. “But we weren’t that close back in high school–I tried to befriend him, but he hated my guts for some obscene reason, so it never worked out. But then on a reunion after graduation, we somehow ended up drinking together. Just the two of us! And then, boom, we clicked.”

Mingyu laughs drily. “That’s… wonderful.”

“Were you two close in college times?”

_We knew of each other,_ Mingyu remembers Minghao interrupting him in front of Mrs. Park. If he doesn’t want people to know about what happened between them, it’s understandable. Having a past homosexual relationship with the teacher of your child–it could bring you quite a lot of nasty rumors among other parents.

But it’s Soonyoung. If Mingyu can only confess his troubles to one person, it would be Soonyoung. With their similar background, he can, and he would understand (even though the chances of him actually spilling it to someone else is high).

Weighing the pros and cons, Mingyu checks to make sure they are the only ones in the office, and finally puts down his chopsticks. “We… we knew each other quite well, actually.”


	2. College Rivals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fuck you, Mingyu hisses at Minghao as he touches the swell on his left cheek.
> 
> No, fuck you, Minghao wipes under his nose, the blood has dried up now. I have no tardies on my record until today, but now I do thanks to you.
> 
> “The two in the back,” the professor clears his throat, “You already came in late. Can you please be quiet?”
> 
> They both scurry to take out their laptops and notes in silence. Behind the erected screens and mixed in the typing of keyboards are the endless exchange of childish fuck you’s.

_Recommended bgm: Blueberry Eyes - MAX (ft. SUGA)_

↣  ⧪ ↢

9:10 a.m.

His eyes still puffy from rolling out of bed 15 minutes ago, Mingyu presses down a yawn to chew on the warm toast dangling from his mouth walking down the hall. Class doesn’t start until 9:20, he still has time. 

9:11 a.m.

A slender, capped figure moves through the morning rush crowd agilely. Just as he is about to brush past Mingyu, a girl beside him drops a book and steps to her right, causing him to bump into the taller boy. The peanut butter spread on the toast smudges around the corner of Mingyu’s mouth.

Before Mingyu can take out the toast to ask him to apologize, the boy dips his head low with a mumbled apology without even looking at Mingyu and picks up his speed again. Mingyu frowns and eyes him more carefully.

_Xu Minghao._ The little bitch.

9:12 a.m. 

Mingyu doesn’t know why, but his body moves before his brain tells it to.

He shoves the toast down his throat and speeds up to catch up with Minghao–there is no way he’s letting Minghao sit in his seat again.

9:13 a.m.

Minghao turns to look as a wind sweeps against his side. After identifying the figure who just hustled past him, he starts running with a click of the tongue.

9:14 a.m.

He just woke up 20 minutes ago, Mingyu hates the fact that he’s running already. But he is, and he will not stop. 

He doesn’t give a fuck about the weird looks from people around, he is not losing this race to the skinny boy.

9:15 a.m.

They’ve run past their art history classroom, but neither of them went in. Instead, they just kept going straight ahead. Getting closer and closer to the end of the hall, Minghao makes a sudden turn to the upward stairs.

Mingyu grits his teeth and follows. 

9:16 a.m. 

Mingyu regrets overworking his thighs last night at the gym so much. 

There is one more flight left to reach the rooftop, and his thighs are giving out. The muscles are burning like a bundle of matches being lit all at once. He doesn’t understand how Minghao doesn’t look at all labored, so he hides his exhaustion as well. He is going to pull through.

9:17 a.m.

Three steps. Two steps. One. 

Minghao reaches the highest, the last step first by half a second earlier than Mingyu.

“I win,” he eyes Mingyu, who is trying hard to hide his heavy breathing, with a victorious smirk.

“No you…didn’t,” the pain in his lungs scorching, Mingyu scrunches his nose. “We arrived at the same time.”

“I was faster than you by half a second,” Minghao scoffs. “And you have longer legs. What a shame.”

Mingyu huffs out his frustration angrily. “Xu Minghao!”

“What, Kim Mingyu,” Minghao crosses his arms in front of his chest. 

“So you know who I am,” Mingyu’s jaw hurts from him gritting his teeth too hard. “And you are taking my seat in art history on purpose.”

“It annoys you?” Minghao laughs. “Good.”

“No shit!” Mingyu suppresses his anger trying not to yell, “I can’t wear glasses or contacts, I can’t fucking see shit for the past week in class! What the fuck are you doing this for?!”

“As a payback for you taking the study room every fucking time I have a free period!”

“Well that study room isn’t reserved for your highness, it’s public space!”

“And that seat isn’t reserved for your majesty either!”

“But I can’t see sitting anywhere else in the classroom, you can study anywhere else!”

“Wear your damned glasses then,” Minghao’s shoulders quiver in stifled fury, “Stop being pretentious just because of your good looks! If you are so fucking blind then it is on you that you have to hide those big charming eyes behind your glasses!”

9:27 a.m.

The two, after a mildly violent fight, try to sneak into the back of the lecture hall. But the TA catches them both and gives them the deserved tardies.

_Fuck you,_ Mingyu hisses at Minghao as he touches the swell on his left cheek.

_No, fuck you,_ Minghao wipes under his nose, the blood has dried up now. _I have no tardies on my record until today, but now I do thanks to you._

“The two in the back,” the professor clears his throat, “You already came in late. Can you please be quiet?”

They both scurry to take out their laptops and notes in silence. Behind the erected screens and mixed in the typing of keyboards are the endless exchange of childish _fuck you_ ’s.

❀

A book slaps heavily against the table by Minghao’s right arm. He lifts his head to see “reluctance” written in all caps on Mingyu’s face.

“What,” Minghao glances at him, “I thought you got the seat today. What else do you need, sir?”

Mingyu closes his eyes as if beginning the sentence gives him a great deal of pain. “Can we end this bullshit already?”

Minghao arches a brow. “So you are admitting your defeat.”

“Sure, call it that,” Rubbing his forehead, Mingyu continues. “I will let you use that study room.”

“This doesn’t come for free, I suppose.” Minghao finishes packing up his stuff, stands up, so he doesn’t have to be looking up to Mingyu (well, he still kind of has to standing up. But it feels less disadvantageous when he does that way). 

“-I will let you use that study room, and I can even give up my seat in lecture if you study the midterm with me.” 

Words roll off Mingyu’s tongue so fast that Minghao barely catches the meaning. “You want _me_ to study the midterm with you?”

Mingyu is almost burning in embarrassment at this point. “Yeah, you, Xu Minghao. Otherwise am I talking to air right now?”

Minghao bursts into laughter. “You know, I never thought trying to sound threatening while asking people for favors can be so funny.” 

“Shut the fuck up,” Mingyu sighs, in exasperation. “Are you gonna do it or not?”

“Well, I’m not really interested in your seat. But the study room does sound appealing to me,” Minghao says, maneuvering his way out of the row of seats. “And the deal would be even better if _you_ don’t get to use it in the future.”

“You m–” About to start another fight, Mingyu suddenly remembers the red 68% on his grade book. He clenches his jaw and hisses. “Fine.”

Minghao makes an impressed sound. “You must need that midterm grade really terribly. If I ask for something more, you would probably say yes to those too, wouldn’t you?”

“XU MINGHAO!” Mingyu stomps. “Don’t test my limits!”

Minghao giggles. “Since I’m in a good mood right now, I won’t be asking for more. Deal.”

❀

“So the two techniques that _make_ Da Vinci the greatest artist of the renaissance are Chiaroscuro and…”

“–had made,” Mingyu corrects his grammar offhandedly. He’s running low on patience since they have been sitting in the study room, chewing the thick and boring textbook for three hours. He stopped taking notes a long time ago.

Minghao clicks his tongue. “Had made, fine. Am I tutoring you or are you tutoring me?”

Mingyu pushes his chair back to lean on it. “You aren’t exactly tutoring me, okay? We are technically ‘studying together’ for this midterm.”

“Only ‘technically’ though,” Minghao turns the computer screen to him. The cursor blinks on the almost-empty document. “What contribution have you made to the study guide, hmm?”

“Hey!” Mingyu whines, “I took the time to format everything all nicely. Appreciate the effort, would you?”

Rolling his eyes, Minghao flips through his notebook with highlighting all over the pages. “Oh wow, how _you_ it is to only care about the looks of things rather than the actual meaning behind them, otherwise I wouldn’t have to stop every three minutes to explain the vocab and concepts to you.”

“What’s with all this attack on my looks?” Mingyu blurts out, “You are totally just jealous of my good-looking face.”

“If I have to trade that face with a brain like yours? I’ll pass, thanks.”

“Shut up! I’m smart! My brain is just not designed for this class!”

“Sure, prove it to me with your grades, Mr. 68%.”

“Xu Minghao–”

“Curse my name one more time if you don’t want to pass this class.”

And that summarizes how they end their bickering, return to studying almost every hour. An arguing break, you may call it.

❀

Minghao finds himself standing in front of the Eastern Dorm Building 30 minutes after he texted Junhui.

_I am not here because I care about him, nope_ . He repeats to himself, pacing before entering the building. _It’s just weird, okay? We’ve been studying together consecutively for a week. And now all of a sudden he’s not in class, without even telling me–wait, why am I expecting him to tell me?–well, he should tell me. I am his tutor, he’s responsible for letting me know. Right._

When he finally makes up his mind to enter the building, he regrets the decision of coming at all. _What are you doing, Xu Minghao? You don’t even know where his room is, and you don’t know if he is in his room. And who are you to find him in his dorm anyways?_

But it’s too late and awkward for him to turn around and leave; a guy chilling in the lounge has spotted him. He waves at Minghao with a smile as bright as sunshine, then immediately falls into confusion: “Wait, you don’t live here.”

“I don’t, in fact,” Minghao smiles back uncomfortably. “I’m here to find a… a person.”

“Who are you looking for? Maybe I can help,” interested, the guy sits up a little straighter on the couch. 

“Kim Mingyu,” Minghao says very quietly. For some reason, saying his name out loud in a context that is not ferocious yelling turns him fidgety all of a sudden. _This is so weird._ “Do you happen to know him?”

“Mingyu? Of course!” The guy jumps up to pull himself closer to Minghao. “I’m Lee Seokmin, I live right next door to him. I can take you to his room right now!”

“No, no, that wouldn’t be necessary,” Startled by his enthusiasm, Minghao takes a few cautious steps back. “I– He just wasn’t in class today, and I wonder–”

“Oh yeah, yeah, no big deal,” Seokmin pats on his shoulder casually as if they are old friends that haven’t seen each other in a long time. “He just caught the seasonal flu. He almost does every year and will get better soon. Don’t worry about him! Our Mingyu is a tough boy.”

_I’m not worried for him,_ Minghao grumbles inwardly. “That’s good. Um… Here are the handouts that the professor gave out in class today. He might not want them, but I brought them over, just in case.” _Just trying to be a responsible tutor and giving this “visit” a reason, that’s all._

“Awww,” Seokmin takes over the papers from Minghao and coos, “That’s so nice of you! And this is for–let me see–Western Art History…. wait– _you are Xu Minghao?!_ ”

“You know me?”

Seokmin scrutinizes the boy from head to toe in complete shock. “You don’t match a single bit of his descriptions of you. Well, except for the skinny part.”

Minghao laughs drily. He can imagine what kind of descriptions Mingyu could have used on him. “We aren’t exactly friendly, so I would expect some slander from him.”

“Oh, fuck whatever Mingyu says about you!” Seokmin wraps an arm around Minghao’s shoulders. “While he is being all mean to you, you are still bringing him notes to save his dumb ass from failing the class… you are about the sweetest person I have ever seen! ”

Now this time, Minghao smiles for real. He hasn’t received such heart-warming compliments in a long time (even though the authenticity of the statement is questionable). “Thank you for saying that, Seokmin.”

“I will give these to Mingyu,” Motioning the papers in hand as if saying “trust me,” Seokmin squeezes Minghao on the arm. “It’s nice meeting you, Minghao. I feel like we could be really good friends! I will see you around.”

Affected by his relaxed, happy aura, Minghao says goodbye with a spirit totally different from when he came in. “Yeah, I’ll see you around.”

❀

“How are you feeling, bud?” Seokmin walks into the room, instantly making a gagging face at the sight of used tissues piling on the floor.

“Alive,” Mingyu answers robotically with a wet cough, pausing the movie on his laptop screen. “What’s up?”

“Minghao just dropped by,” Seokmin kicks away the tissues, drags a chair over to sit.

“Who?”

“There aren’t two Minghao’s in this school,” the stupidity of the question amuses him, “Your life enemy. Who else?”

Mingyu scrunches his face in disgust and sinks into his comforter. “He’s probably just here to see if I’m dead or not. Unlucky for him that I’m still breathing, ha.”

“Then why did he bring you notes for class?”

Mingyu pushes himself up unbelievingly. “No he did not.”

“Oh, yes. Yes he did,” Seokmin whips out the handouts that Minghao had given him earlier, throws it onto Mingyu’s laptop. “I just don’t see why you have a problem with him. He’s so soft-spoken and nice, gosh, he’s like the sweetest little bub!”

“Soft-spoken? Nice? Are we even talking about the same person?” Scanning the handouts, Mingyu refutes. He would have made a stronger opposition if these papers aren’t lying in his hands right now, though.

“I’m not even joking. He’s like, so tiny too!” Seokmin recalls with a coo, “I just want to hug him and carry him everywhere in my pocket.”

“Ew, are you really gonna openly fantasize about my worst enemy right in my face?” 

“You know,” Seokmin clears his throat, “I really think you are just being an asshole to him. Otherwise how can a nice boy like him act that viciously, assuming all your descriptions of him are not exaggerated, or worse, completely made up?”

“Hey!” Mingyu protests, ends up coughing because of the shouting (he covered it up with his sleeve though, don’t worry). “Are you my best friend or his?!”

“Yours,” Seokmin shrugs innocently, “For now. I have a feeling that I can be really good friends with Minghao, though. And you better not be an asshole to him when that happens, because I will get on you if you do.”

“Lee Dokyeom!!”

❀

“So…um…” Tentatively, Mingyu begins as he sets his stuff down in the study room.

Minghao, who has arrived earlier and has been sitting at the other end of the table, glances up very quickly before returning to reading. A relieved sigh escapes his lips, but Mingyu doesn’t catch it. He’s too busy being embarrassed by what he is about to say.

“Thanks for bringing me notes.” 

Choking on his own spit, Minghao coughs. But he adjusts his breathing fast enough. “No big deal. Now sit down, you have a lot to catch up.”

“Yeah, I know,” Mingyu says, shoving a piece of paper across the table. A numbers sequence is scribbled on it.

Minghao picks the paper up, confused. “What’s this?” 

“Save my number.” Mingyu looks away, trying to focus on the beautiful, sunny view outside of the window. “Don’t take it the wrong way. I just kind of feel bad that you have to come to the Eastern campus to find me, okay? I’m not irresponsible like that, usually. I will tell you next time if anything happens unplanned.”

Then he adds hurriedly, though remaining the halfhearted image: “You don’t have to give me yours if you don’t want to.”

Without the last line, Minghao would have, as Mingyu suggested, not taken this the wrong way. But somehow with it, he turns almost allergic to the whole situation; the thin paper clenched in his palm, fibers rubbing against the pads of his fingers, sends itches through his limbs and spine right underneath the skin, a sheen of light heat slowly rising on his face. He plays tough, though. “What’s wrong with giving you my number? Here it is.”

After they have created contacts for each other on their phones, however, Minghao finds the descriptions of Rococo paintings in the textbook–extremely intriguing right before Mingyu came in–unbearably dull and lengthy. 

“The room is so stuffy,” he says, “I’m gonna open the windows.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Mingyu agrees, flipping through his notebook louder than necessary, overlooking the fact that it’s December already and the heating isn’t even on in the room. “Open the windows.”

❀

“Mingy-” Seokmin, with his casual gleeful tone, pauses the motion of walking in when he spots the other person in the room. “Minghao?”

“I told you I was studying,” instead of welcoming his best friend, Mingyu visibly panics. He glares at Minghao nervously, who, very obviously, stiffens at Seokmin’s entrance. Mingyu doesn’t know what’s running through Minghao’s mind, but “WHY DOES THIS FEEL LIKE I JUST GOT CAUGHT CHEATING??? EVEN THOUGH WE ARE LITERALLY??? JUST??? STUDYING TOGETHER????” is no doubt running through his with all the explosive special effects there are available.

“I thought midterm already ended?”

“Well, yeah,” Mingyu laughs awkwardly. “But um… we decided to study together anyways?”

“Because?”

“I mean… I got a pretty good grade,” Mingyu calms down a little seeing Seokmin’s innocent cluelessness. “So I thought studying with someone else is more effective than alone for me. Didn’t you suggest this to me? You should be glad that I’m taking your advice.”

“Of course, of course I am,” Seokmin takes his credits gladly. Right away, he turns worriedly to the quiet presence in the room. “But Minghao, are you sure you want to keep tutoring this dumbass for free? Should I pay you for him?”

Minghao giggles. Seokmin seems to carry some type of happy magic with him anywhere he goes. “No, no. It’s fine. Mingyu promised to take half of the notes for the rest of the semester, so it’s fair. And if we study together, we don’t have to fight over the study room that we both like anymore–it’s kind of a win-win situation. Why not?”

“Oh my god,” Seokmin spreads himself across the table dramatically as if melting for Minghao’s words, “You are literally so sweet. Minghao, he doesn’t deserve an angel like you.”

Ignoring Mingyu’s protest, Minghao smiles warmly at the compliment. “You are welcomed to join us, too, if you want.”

“Yo,” Mingyu watches with shock, “What the fuck was that smile just now?! You never smiled like that to me!”

Minghao snaps back to his casual resting bitch face as he turns to Mingyu: “As Seokmin says, you don’t deserve the warmth from me.”

Cackling loudly, Seokmin mocks Mingyu some more before offering to exchange phone numbers with Minghao. 

“I’m not really a ‘good student’ like you, so I will turn down the study group invitation politely,” he says while typing Minghao’s number into his phone, “But I definitely want to hang out with you if there is a chance!”

“Of course,” Minghao waves the phone with the saved contact on the screen, “Hit me up when you are free!”

❀

“How was the movie?” Even before Minghao sits down, Mingyu asks without looking up.

“It was good,” Minghao recounts, spreading his stationeries out on the table. “The concept was refreshing. As an action movie, of course. And the movie theatre that Seokmin took me to was really nice, too–the popcorn was delicious there.”

“I thought you don’t usually eat sweet things,” Mingyu says frigidly, “But good for you two.”

Minghao is in such a good mood that he purposely ignores the unpleasant tone of Mingyu’s voice. “It surprises me that you’ve noticed that, but yeah, I decided to break the precept for today.”

Mingyu doesn’t say more. He skims the textbook, typing key points into his laptop in agitated silence.

Usually, kind as Minghao, he can tolerate people’s occasional, odd behaviors, like complaining about Minghao’s books bumping into his arms when he types, or Minghao’s laptop screen being too dark that he can’t see the words on the review slides.

But things are always a little different when it’s Mingyu. So after Mingyu fusses about the most trivial matter for the ten hundredth time of the night, Minghao finally gets pissed off. “What the fuck are you on today? Why are you busting out like this on me?”

More irritated by Minghao pointing out his abnormal behavior, Mingyu slaps his laptop close in abashment, giving up studying altogether. “You are the one being annoying, shut the fuck up!”

“What’s your problem?” Enraged by the strangeness of the situation, Minghao pushes the chair back to confront the other standing up. “I thought we are over with the childish bickering bullshit, now the fuck are you yelling at me for?”

Mingyu also gets up with a heavy knock on the table. “Stop getting on my fucking nerves!”

“Well fix your motherfucking nerves because it’s not me!” Minghao raises his voice, “And now I know why no one wants to date you–your poor _nerves_ just can’t handle anyone!”

The instant Minghao drops the comment, Mingyu’s temper cools down ice-cold. “I dare you say that again.”

Entertained by the abrupt shift in his attitude, Minghao points at Mingyu with a ballpoint pen in the most provocative way possible. “What? Like I am actually scared of you? _Prude._ Bet you don’t even know how to kiss, pfft.”

Mingyu grabs the pen and throws it to the floor in a huff. “You are the one who started this with me.”

“Wh–”

His waist snatched and the back of his head pressed by a strong hand, Minghao finds his words cut off with a blazingly aggressive kiss. Both of their lips dry, their teeth bump into each other, leaving unorganized slits and the taste of rust inside their mouths. 

First trying to break off in shock, Minghao only feels the grip on his waist tighten. So he changes his strategy. 

With a smirk, he pries Mingyu’s mouth open with his tongue, exploring every nook and corner of the warm cave that was cursing at him just now with all the homeless clemency in his body. Yet his prey doesn’t plan on lying there defenseless. With equal assertiveness, Mingyu counterattacks by sucking on the intruder. He snickers as Minghao mewls almost inaudibly, takes one step to press them closer together, nibbling the tip of Minghao’s tongue.

Getting more and more lightheaded and consumed with every second that slips by, Minghao admits, unwillingly, to himself in all the dizziness that maybe Mingyu really knows how to kiss.

When Mingyu finally decides to let them both breathe, his forehead glistens with tiny beads of sweat. The colors of his pupils dark, he glances up at Minghao from under his disheveled bangs.

“Next time… think twice before making statements that you are unsure of.”

❀

_**Mingyu** 10:55 PM_

_**Minghao** _

_i will see you in class tomorrow then_

_good night_

_Wait_

_what_

_Can I ask you a question_

_sure_

_tho you’ve never asked anything so nicely that i’m kinda scared_

_So_

_Um_

_I’ve been wondering_

_Are we_

_Kind of like_

_Dating right now?_

_? Hello_

_do you want us to be?_

_Um_

_IDK_

_I never thought about it?_

_But ngl the kissing was nice though_

_Sorry about calling you a bad kisser lol_

_are you in your dorm rn?_

_Yeah why?_

_????????_

❀

On the far end of the bed, his phone rings. Minghao climbs over to pick it up. It’s Mingyu.

“What are you up to keep leaving me on read?” He asks.

“Come down,” Mingyu’s voice is small compared to the spacious white noise at his end of the call. 

Minghao frowns cautiously. “What are you gonna do?”

Mingyu cuts him off impatiently. “Just shut up and come down!”

Hanging up the call, Minghao puts on the closest velvet robe by his hand and walks down the stairs in his furry slippers. Mingyu, teeth chattering in the freezing wind, is standing in front of his dorm. 

_Are you stupid or something? You have the ID card, why don’t you just come in?_ Minghao wants to scold him as he opens the door while the early winter wind welcomes him by slithering across his exposed skin. But the kind-hearted words somehow come out all wrong in his mouth, like they always do when the subject matter is about Mingyu. “You think you are the royalty or something? I have to welcome your highness’s arrival at the gate like a bellboy?”

Surprisingly, Mingyu doesn’t talk back this time. Instead, with one cold hand, he pulls Minghao into the winter wonderland between his arms, the icy fingers of another tipping the shorter boy’s chin up. A dip of his head, he presses a crispy kiss onto Minghao’s lips. Kind of like waiting with your mouth open trying to taste a snowflake for the first time, it’s cold and brittle, and before you can catch the flavor, it’s already gone.

“Said it was nice? Delivery service.”

“What the fuck,” Minghao whispers between audible breaths, not sounding insulting at all with his insult. “Did you seriously come all the way across campus just because I said that?”

Mingyu arches his brow and doesn’t deny, somewhat proudly.

Minghao punches his chest. “Ew, gross.” But he doesn’t really mean it, and Mingyu knows.

Catching Minghao’s wrist to steady them both, Mingyu looks into Minghao’s eyes. “Be my boyfriend. And I promise you’ll get free delivery service 247 until you are sick of my annoying ass.”

Minghao can swear, even after many years, that he has never seen more stars in a person’s eyes than there were in Mingyu’s on that night. Breaking open the hold, he wraps his fingers around the other’s thumb. “I don’t like the attitude, but it doesn’t sound like a terrible deal to me. Now, to not waste your effort running all the way over–”

A sudden pull on Mingyu’s scarf makes the taller boy bend down unexpectedly, and he’s met with another delicate, crispy kiss. And, oh, he actually catches the flavor this time–it’s sweet. Sweeter than sugar, than honey, than any type of sweetness in the world that he knows of, a sweetness that he will never get tired of.


	3. Best Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well, daddy and Mr. Kim used to be really good friends when we were both in college.”
> 
> “How good?”
> 
> “Kind of like, best friends.”

_Recommended bgm: Loneliest Time of the Year - Mabel_

↣ ⧪ ↢

Xinyi climbs up the dining room chair clumsily in her pajama dress.

“Put on a jacket,” Minghao, taking his focus off the laptop screen, pulls her closer to share his own warmth. “Heating isn’t on out here. You will get sick.”

“I have something to give you!” Xinyi successfully distracts Minghao from nagging by handing him a lemon yellow sandbag, seemingly hand-sewn from the uneven stitches, and a colorfully decorated card. Minghao opens it.

_Daddy,_

_Thank you for always_ **_werking_ ** _so hard. Remember to rest too! Love you_

_Xinyi_

Minghao smiles at the little spelling error. “Did you make this yourself?”

“Yeah! You just rest your wrist like–” Xinyi lifts Minghao’s right hand off of the keyboard by grabbing his pinky and thumb, sets his wrist carefully on the soft sandbag, “–this when you are using the computer with a mouse. It can keep the pain away!”

Looking into his daughter’s expectant eyes, Minghao willingly lets his heart swell. “So is this the secret that you were holding from me this morning?”

“Mhm,” Xinyi pouts, “I told you it’s not like that. I was going to tell you, but Mr. Kim said you like surprises.” 

Kim Mingyu said he likes surprises.

Oh yes, he’s so right– _how Xu Minghao likes surprises._ Everything between them started with the surprise kiss and a sudden confession that night, under his dorm in the cold; Kim Mingyu was always so good at making his everyday life unpredictable, giving him something to look forward to every morning when he opened his eyes. Pranked him by pretending to be mad after a fight, but actually prepared a floor of candles spelling out “I’m sorry” to ask him out to their first date. Said they are only going out for dinner on his 22nd birthday, but took him to the rooftop afterwards to see a firework show that was just for him.

Even at times when he messed up, buying Minghao roses once when he actually wanted baby’s-breath and daisies more, it was cute. It always moved Minghao. He likes the surprises, in specific, the ones that Mingyu prepared. For him. And now, the ones that Xinyi has to offer.

“I do. I do like surprises. Thank you, sweetie.”

“Of course!” Leaping into Minghao’s hug with joy, Xinyi looks up in curiosity. “Mr. Kim was right. But how does he know my daddy likes surprises?”

Minghao is struck by the question. Hesitant if he should tell her the truth yet not wanting to cause misunderstandings, he tries to turn the page over with a vague answer. “Well, daddy and Mr. Kim used to be really good friends when we were both in college.”

“How good?”

“Kind of like, best friends.”

“I thought your best friend was Uncle Junhui.” Xinyi isn’t so easy to fool. “Can’t you only have one best friend, because it’s ‘best’ friend?”

In the back of his head, Minghao regrets how smart Xinyi is as a five-year-old. Already knows how to play around words with him? How much harder is it going to get dealing with her witty questions in the future? “Well, they are kind of different. They are my best friends with different things, like, Uncle Junhui would go out and eat Chinese food with me, but Mr. Kim and I would paint together.”

“And you guys aren’t best friends anymore?”

If it feels like an invisible hand clenched his heart in a fist very briefly, Minghao hides it under his downcast eyes. “…Yeah.”

“Why?”

“Well… both of us did something wrong, and we got really really angry at each other that we never wanted to see each other again.”

“Why can’t you just apologize and be friends again?”

Minghao sighs. ”Adults are a little annoying like this, Xinyi. We aren’t very nice to each other when we get mad. So unlike you guys–the little ones–you can apologize very sincerely, and you will forgive and play like nothing has happened the next day, we don’t really work that way.”

Xinyi contemplates his words for some time. “Adults are weird,” she finally announces her conclusion. 

“I know, right? Adults are weird.”

“I don’t want to be like that when I grow up.”

Minghao smiles, squeezing her tight in the hug. “Don’t be.”

❀

“Psst! Mr. Kim!” Sticking her head up from behind the protective bars, Xinyi whispers, a blanket draping over her shoulders, during nap time.

Mingyu looks up from where he is sitting, cutting the colored papers into different shapes of animals. He spots her and pretends to scold at her. “Shhh! Go to sleep!”

“I can’t sleep,” Xinyi pouts as she struggles to stand on her toes, lifting her face high enough above the bars. “I’m not tired nor sleepy. Can I help you prepare for the project in the afternoon?”

“Don’t do that! You might fall!” Conflicting inwardly, Mingyu finally gives in with a sigh. “Okay, come down very quietly. And try not to step over your friends and wake them up!”

With a silent cheer, Xinyi tiptoes her way down from the big bunk bed, where all the children are napping, to the table. She takes a seat next to Mingyu, who seems like a giant in the child-sized chair, and begins to help him organize the papers by color.

Unlike Xinyi, focused on the task, the giant has his head filled with worries of other kids waking up or teachers passing by to see what they are doing during nap time. _I should start being more strict with her,_ Mingyu makes a mental note to himself, _her cuteness always plays to her favors when she’s trying to get away with rules!_

“Mr. Kim?”

“Mm?”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course, Xinyi, Anything.” 

“You promise you won’t get mad at me?”

Now curious because of her cautiousness, Mingyu sets the scissors and glue stick in his hands down. “Why would I get mad at you for a question? Of course I won’t, I promise.”

_“If my daddy apologized to you, would you be best friends with him again?”_

❀

Mingyu likes to believe that their breakup was a mistake, a mistake that neither of them intended. 

They still fought, once every now and then, after they began dating. But it was always a fight that they both let go the next day–at worst, a week–later. _The fighting is not meant to harm,_ they would look at each other with knowing smiles, and one of them would answer tacitly whenever people asked. _It is a special way for us to bond._

Then time flew by, the grade above–Junhui and Wonwoo–graduated. Though he couldn’t find a full-time job in the dance industry as desired, Junhui decided to stay in Korea, waiting for his chance. Receiving their steady relationship updates through Minghao, Mingyu took for granted that his boyfriend would do the same, letting another year rush by in carelessness.

So when Minghao first attempted to talk to him about the possibility of continuing their relationship in long-distance two months away from their own graduation, Mingyu simply couldn’t get his head around the fact that Minghao will be leaving. Indefinitely.

“What do you mean you are leaving?”

Minghao smiled fondly at his shocked face. Mingyu looked a little dumb like this, _so cute._ “I thought it was pretty obvious.”

Mingyu straightened himself up on the couch. “Why can’t you stay?”

“There’s no reason for me to stay, I never planned on finding a job here. I am only an exchange student, Gyu. My dad has a business back in China waiting for me to take over.”

_This can’t be happening._ “Am I not a reason enough to make you stay?”

Minghao frowned. That sounded overly self-centered for him. “Well, rationally speaking, no. You alone aren’t worth the future that my parents’ have been planning for me for my entire life.”

_Worth, huh._ Mingyu laughed. 

Just like that, Minghao never considered the emotional side of things. He sees them, but he has the ability to shut all the switches off, sweep them aside, and only focus on the rational part of things. Unfortunately for them, Mingyu couldn’t. 

The whole relationship had felt one-sided to him, all along. He never talked about it, but it was always him, showing his affections for Minghao openly. It was rarely Minghao who took the initiative, starting from the beginning.

It wasn’t that he didn’t believe how much Minghao loved him–he knew. But whenever others commented on their relationship, it was always “aww Mingyu, stop, I can see your love overflowing from your eyes!“ “Minghao, you are so lucky to find someone like him;” “oh my god, _you_ prepared that for Minghao? You are literally the sweetest boyfriend ever!” 

He never told Minghao about it, but at nights when he was alone, he spent hours and hours staring at the ceiling, trying to get the voices out of his head. 

Rationally, he understood that Minghao just loved in a different way. A more reticent, private way; Minghao never liked to flaunt their relationship in front of others. But emotionally, he wasn’t confident. 

He was not confident that their relationship could survive this test of being separated, the test of being tempted by others when their embraces are cold and empty. The numerous, endless tests associated with long-distance, waiting in line to growl at them in the future overwhelmed him even just thinking about them.

_Insecurity._ That’s it. 

In the same way he was insecure about his sexuality, never openly acknowledging it by refusing to date anyone until he fell dramatically, hopelessly for Minghao, his worst enemy, and he had no other choice but to confess, he was insecure about their relationship even though he was literally holding their hearts, linked together with an arrow that pierced through both, right in his palm.

How could he form all that–sadness, bitterness, disappointment, hurt, and vulnerability–into words, when their first instincts were always to fight? 

“So I see. Of course, for a spoiled upper-class _brat_ like you, nothing is more important than your career and family money. Of course.”

“That’s not what I said and what did you just call me–”

“Sure that’s not what you said. You don’t have to say _everything_ out loud, I get it.“ Mingyu threw the cushion that he was holding onto Minghao’s lap and got up. ”You know what, there’s no chance a long distance is going to work. Let’s break up.”

“The fuck?”

“Hope you find the love of your life in the future that you planned.”

“Yah Kim Mingyu!” Minghao caught up with his steps to grab him on the shoulder. Mingyu yanked him away forcefully. 

“ _I said,_ let’s break up.”

And Mingyu still remembers how Minghao answered. His eyes were round and bloodshot, rims red in disbelief. “Alright. Alright. _Fine. Great._ Let’s break the fuck up. Now get out and I never want to see your face again!”

❀

Mingyu freezes. He never expected that specific question to come from Xinyi, nothing even close. “What is this about?”

Xinyi drops the papers in her hand. They fall flatly and submissively, like they should, on the table. “When I asked Daddy about you yesterday, he said you guys were best friends in college, but not anymore because you fought badly.”

“Oh.” Softly, Mingyu responds.

“He didn’t say it, but he looked really sad when he said that,” Almost a tearful plea. “Please, Mr. Kim, would you forgive him if he apologized?”

“I… I don’t know,” Perhaps influenced by Xinyi, Mingyu feels his own sense of defeat rises. “I don’t know if he should be the one apologizing, or me. And even if I forgive him, I don’t know if he will want to forgive me.”

The helplessness in his eyes too blunt, Xinyi, already sensitive to people’s emotions, gets overwhelmed by it, choking a few times before she bursts out in tears of distress.

“Why, why, don’t cry, sweetie!” Mingyu panics, pulling tissues to wipe off her tears gently while frustration expands in his chest. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I– what can I do to make you feel better?”

“I don’t know… I’m just so sad! I love my daddy, and I really like you, Mr. Kim, I don’t want you two to be mad at each other!” Xinyi chokes on her hiccups, “It makes me so… so… so sad!”

“Don’t cry, don’t cry, okay?” Mingyu rubs her face comfortingly under the tear-soaked tissue paper, “Here, it’s almost the end of nap time. If you can stop crying and climb up to bed quietly, so when your friends wake up they won’t think you are special and don’t have to sleep, I promise I will do something about it.”

Immediately effective. The intensity of her sobbing subsides. “Really?”

Mingyu doesn’t know what that “something” is, no, not at all. “Really. I promise.”

“Pinky promise?”

But he will have to come up with that “something.” Even if it’s just for Xinyi. He extends out his hand to link their tiniest finger together. “Pinky promise.”

“Ew, you have glue on your hands, Mr. Kim!” Tears still trickling down her cheeks, Xinyi pulls her hand away with a giggle. 

Mingyu looks down at his hands and dissolves into quiet giggles with her. “You are right–Ew Mr. Kim!” 

Taking a wet wipe to clean off both of their hands, he squishes her reddened cheeks. “Now, go back to bed!”

❀

Christmas season is always exciting, especially for kids. Smile Flower Kindergarten, in response, prepared special projects on the day of Christmas Eve. Besides learning the history of the holiday, everyone brought an old sock from home, put stickers on them, and with the help of teachers, attached decorative beads and bells to it, turning it into their unique, designed Christmas stocking to hang above their beds tonight.

“I can’t wait to show this to my daddy,” Xinyi picks up her green striped sock with a red ribbon sewn to it just below the opening happily.

“He will be so proud of you!” Mingyu watches her with fondness, “And wait until Santa hears about how you sewed that ribbon on yourself! Maybe you will get a gift–Santa always rewards the good, hard-working kids.”

Only Xinyi doesn’t get to share her excitement with Minghao. At the normal 3 o’clock pick up time, Minghao doesn’t show up.

“Let’s wait a little longer,” Mingyu comforts her in between the usual parent rush, “Maybe he just got stuck in the traffic. I bought new storybooks today, they are in my backpack. You know where to find them!”

But Minghao still isn’t here when Xinyi finishes all five storybooks. 

Mingyu begins to get a little worried. He flips through the parent contact book and calls Minghao, his office line and mobile, but no one picks up.

“I will stay with her,” Says Mrs. Park assuringly, “You deserve to go home, Mr. Kim. It’s Christmas Eve.”

Glancing at Xinyi, her small shadow curled up in the corner of the empty classroom, Mingyu is incapable of saying “yes” to the kind offer.

“It’s alright, head teacher-nim,” he puts on a professional smile, “Xinyi is my student. I will take care of her.”

❀

“I’m so sorry he left you like this, honey,” Mingyu says, putting away the toys that he and Xinyi have been playing with for an hour. It’s almost six, and Minghao is still nowhere to be found.

“No, it’s okay, I understand,” Xinyi shakes her head, pulling a smile despite the obvious sadness and loneliness on her face. “And Mr. Kim, if you need to work or something, I can read another storybook on my own.”

Her defeated spirits trigger a sting in Mingyu’s chest. “No, no. I don’t have anything more important than taking care of you, dear. But why? How do you understand? Does this happen a lot?”

The girl nods, staring at her feet. “Daddy works really hard. Sometimes he comes to pick me up from here, takes me home, and he has to leave again.” Then she looks up with innocent warmth in her eyes, “but he always cooks dinner for me, even when himself doesn’t eat at home. And when that happens, I feel bad. Mr. Kim, can you teach me how to cook?”

The austere account of the single father’s hardships and her genuine request penetrate Mingyu’s chest with a cold sword. “Why? I thought your grandparents have enough money, why does he work so hard?”

“I don’t really know…” Xinyi’s head droops low again, “but I guess it’s because if daddy makes enough money on his own, grandpa and grandma would stop finding me a mom.”

_A mom._ Not a new one–that means she has never had one besides the birth mother who abandoned her.

“Sorry, Xinyi," Mingyu apologizes softly after a brief moment of silence. "Does talking about this make you feel uncomfortable?”

Xinyi hums out a denial. "No, it’s okay–because you are Mr. Kim.”

A lump comes up to Mingyu’s throat, he takes a deep breath to repel it. "Hey, you said you want to learn how to cook?"

"Mhm!"

"Have you ever made cookies before?”

“No. Does that count as cooking?”

“Well, technically it's baking," Mingyu admits, "but any type of food making should make people happy!”

Xinyi's eyes light up. “Sure! I want to make cookies!”

Mingyu smiles. “Let’s make some cookies for your daddy while we wait for him then. What about that?”

“But daddy doesn’t really like sweet things.”

“He only likes it when it’s good,” Mingyu chuckles with a benevolent roll of the eyes, “so if you are the one who made it, he will like it. And we can put very very little sugar in there, too."

"Okay! Where is the kitchen, Mr. Kim?"

❀

When Minghao finally shows up hurriedly at the door, he smells like smoke and alcohol.

“Xinyi!" He kneels down to let the girl run into his arms, guilt, mixed with fatigue, apparent on his face. "I'm sorry, I am so late. Please forgive me."

Xinyi wraps her arms around Minghao's neck and hugs him hard despite the poignant smell on his coat. "It's okay, Daddy. I will always wait for you."

Holding Xinyi's hand in his, Minghao gets to his feet to bow slightly to Mingyu. "Sorry that you have to stay so late with her. A client decided to throw a last-minute Christmas Eve party–I should have expected and planned around it. It was my fault. I am so sorry–it was so sudden that I couldn’t even find a gap in between to call.”

Watching his frail frame holding itself up in the shadow like a snag, Mingyu doesn’t dare compare his six extra work hours with the exhaustion on Minghao’s face. It probably isn’t even all–with the tired smile on his face, Minghao is obviously trying to sweep it under the rug to maintain his manners. 

“It’s alright. Xinyi’s safety is more important than anything else,” he only manages to say, “Are you sure you can drive her home?”

“I didn’t drink, don’t worry.” But the smell of alcohol doesn’t help him pass Mingyu’s doubtful glare. He sighs. “Okay, they forced me to drink a little. But I threw it all up before I came over, so it should be all good.”

Mingyu doesn’t plan on letting Minghao play that card with him. He locks the classroom doors behind him. “Where do you live? I came to work by subway. I will drive you both and go home from there.”

“That wouldn’t be necessary,” Minghao refuses politely, “I can’t ask you to do more than you have already done for Xinyi today.” 

“Daddy,” Xinyi, stayed quiet while the two adults talked until now, speaks with a serious, concerned tone to her voice. “You should rest. You look really tired.”

“But we can’t ask Mr. Kim to–”

“I agree with Xinyi,” Mingyu is so thankful that the girl is on his side to persuade Minghao. He does not feel okay about letting Minghao drive them home, no. He doesn’t want to be a perpetrator of a tragic car accident. “Hanging out with her for the past hours is no work at all for me, she only heals me. Hand me the car key.”

“… Thank you.”

So as Mingyu drives them home steadily, Minghao falls asleep in the back seat, his head leaning against Xinyi’s shoulder. Between the slow, soft jazz music, the hushed conversations of Mingyu and his daughter, and the occasional low hum of the engine, his consciousness drifts, and he dreams whether this is what it would feel like if he had never broken up with Mingyu and went on their promised graduation road trip together. 

❀

**_Mingyu_ ** _2:45 AM_

_hey, sorry about all the calls before. are you up?_

_merry christmas :)_

Minghao reads the short text over and over laying in bed until the artificial light of the screen hurts his eyes in the dark. The phone automatically locks itself due to inaction, which Minghao takes as a sign to rise from bed, cloak himself up, and walk out to the balcony. He doesn’t want to disturb Xinyi sleeping next door.

After several beeps, the texter picks up. “Hey.” His voice doesn’t sound like he just woke up from sleep.

“How do you know I’d be awake?”

“You used to always wake up around this hour back in college,” Mingyu says, his calmness resembles that of a storyteller recounting a distant tale. “No matter what time you went to bed.”

The untouched memory doesn’t hurt as badly when it rolls out from the other’s mouth as Minghao expects it to. “I thought I moved quietly whenever I did.”

“Yeah, you did.” _But I’d always be up within 5 minutes you did because whenever you moved in my arms, I lost the heart beating next to mine._ That, Mingyu doesn’t say.

They fall silent. Holding the phone to his ear, Minghao watches the neon tree lights afar, still glowing in warm yellow although there is no one on the streets now. _Who do they give their warmth to? How do they keep going when they know all that they give will eventually end up in the void? Or does it not? But how do they know?_

“Merry Christmas,” He finally says. “For the nth time, thank you so much for taking care of her tonight.”

Then he remembers something and adds: “I got the cookies. You are still so good in the kitchen–they are wonderful with tea. Not too sweet, just about right.” Just the way I like it. 

“My pleasure,” Genuinely, Mingyu replies. “Speaking of…”

Seeing Minghao tonight, there are many questions that he wants to ask. But he isn’t sure if he’s crossing a line if he does, or maybe crossing the line too early, earlier than appropriate, earlier than both of them are comfortable with it. But if he misses this chance, he might not–might never share another intimate, vulnerable moment like this with Minghao again in the future.

“You know, I’ve always thought that your family is affluent. But Xinyi mentioned to me today that… that you are still working your ass off.”

Minghao’s breathing skips a heartbeat. “… Yeah. For a reason.”

There is a 50% chance that he will take the next step wrong here. Mingyu knows he needs to think carefully before deciding what to say, but he doesn’t spend too much time being tangled up in his own thoughts. Fifty-fifty, he will take it. “She said it’s because you don’t want to find her a mother.”

A pause. If not for the distant honking coming through the line, Mingyu would have thought Minghao had hung up. But he hasn’t. “Yeah.”

Because he doesn’t seem to continue, Mingyu doesn’t know how to reply. So he says: “I see.”

Minghao’s end remains quiet besides the white noise for a long time. Just as Mingyu thinks that he might have taken the wrong step and prepares to wish him a last time before hanging up, Minghao begins: “I adopted her. You know that.”

_Maybe it wasn’t the wrong step._ “Yeah, I know.”

❀

“I’ve dated many people ever since I returned to China.

“All blind dates. Starting when I was 23, my parents set me up because I wasn’t making any progress on my own.

“I wasn’t against it, but I guess blind dating just couldn’t do the trick for me. I could have gone with it, married one or two of them if I wanted. But no one really clicked with me."

The short-lived relationships, in retrospect, all lacked a certain exuberant energy. Passion, excitement–they were all too bland, lukewarm. That is not to say that they were bad; passion isn’t something that you _need_ to survive. It merely spices things up. But Minghao has already tasted the spice, the extreme ends of joy and anger, and he would rather not compromise.

“Was it really blind dating’s problem?” He chuckles at the rhetorical question. "Or maybe it’s just love itself. It hates me.”

“No," Mingyu says. _Because it has been doing the same to me._

“So blind dating went on for two years until I've tried my best and had enough. 

"I thought adopting Xinyi would appease my parents–they are okay with having a female heir. So I childishly believed that adopting her would end my problems at once: my parents’ hope for me to marry someone to have an heir, and to find something to busy myself enough that they can’t push me to unwanted commitments.

“I was scared that they wouldn’t like her when I first took her home. But they did, and soon enough they even did too much–they liked her so much that they began to worry that lacking a motherly figure in her life would influence her upbringing. 

“I was almost gonna give in to blind dating again when my dad brought up the job opportunity here in Korea. I thought it might be a good opportunity to show them that I'm capable of independence; if I can become financially independent from them, I can prove it to them that I'm capable of taking good care of Xinyi on my own.

"But I guess from tonight's incident, maybe I am wrong. Maybe I can't give her a good life just by myself."

He takes a long pause to swallow the lump down his throat. "I'm so sorry that I’m dumping all this useless information on you. I- There's just so much happening tonight that...."

"I'm sorry for calling you a spoiled upper-class brat."

Minghao doesn't get the apology, completely thrown at him out of the blue, at first. But when he does, he giggles, softly and melodically, like sleigh bells. "So sudden? After eight years?"

"I'm serious. I never knew that you have to go through all this trouble just because of the little extra money–well, not really little, I assume."

"I accept your apology," Taking this chance handed to him, Minghao gives out his apology, eight years overdue, too. "And I'm sorry for my wording back then..."

"Hm?"

"About the whole 'worth' thing. That was not what I meant, it came out so wrong. That was so rude–every time I think about it after that day I regret saying it." Minghao says, "Truly."

"...And I accept yours too."

A brief awkward silence later, they begin to laugh, in unison, at their childishness. When their waves of laughter calm down, Mingyu raises the question that he has been holding in, gingerly. "So...are we... um, friends again?"

"Sure. why?"

"Xinyi asked me to. She asked if we can apologize to each other and be 'best friends' again," Mission completed, now Mingyu can finally relax. "What did you tell her about us?"

"Oh my _god_ Xu Xinyi, she didn't!"

"She did!" Mingyu laughs. His voice, from the speaker of Minghao's phone, echoes into the streets below Minghao's apartment, into the warm glow of the neon tree lights, into the cold winter night. Once cold, to be accurate, since it isn't so much anymore.


	4. The Path

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe it being late and them not wanting to disturb the neighbors is one reason, they do not talk on their way out. The air condenses and condenses with each step they take, the white LED of the apartment lobby at the turn of the corner shines brighter and brighter. No matter how long they hope to drag the short walking distance out with their pace, nothing is endless. 
> 
> They are getting there. The end of the night. 

_Recommended bgm: tomorrow tonight - Loote_

↣ ⧪ ↢

When Minghao drops Xinyi off at kindergarten the next morning, the air between him and Mingyu has noticeably shifted since they saw each other in person last night.

"Hey," Minghao smiles at Mingyu, closing the car door behind Xinyi.

"Hey." Mingyu smiles back, a little shyly since they are both unaccustomed to the sudden friendliness. But he overcomes the agitation and looks at the father in the eyes when he says his usual good morning.

"Mr. Kim!" Stomping her feet, Xinyi protests loudly, "You always say hello to me first!" 

"I'm so sorry, princess,” completely embarrassed by Xinyi pointing out the unusualness bluntly, Mingyu scrambles to make it up to her by greeting her again with full sincerity, a tinge of pink at the tips of his ears. Don’t get him wrong–it’s just the cold weather! 

“I have news for you,” After they have waved goodbye to Minghao, Mingyu gives her a bump in the shoulder. “As promised, I’m friends with your daddy again.”

Xinyi looks up, hope glows beautifully on her beaming face. “Really?”

“Really. You can ask him yourself tonight!” Mingyu winks at her proudly as they walk into the classroom, “Mr. Kim is a man of his words.”

❀

“Pumpkin! Luosifen!!” Catching the sight of the wavering tails of the orange-striped and the grey cat, Xinyi greets Junhui and Wonwoo politely, but asks for permission to leave the three adults for the pets almost right away. “Uncle Junhui, can I please play with the kitties? I miss them so, so, SO badly!”

“Of course you can, honey.” Knowing how hard she is suppressing the urge to run to the cats by her pleading eyes, Junhui ruffles Xinyi’s hair endearingly and makes space for her to rush to the living room. He only sighs when she has gone, pretends to be heartbroken: “My goddaughter always likes my cats better than me, should I just turn myself into a cat?”

“Here goes his nonsense,” Wonwoo shakes his head, a fond grin on his face, as he greets Minghao with a hug. “And Junnie, what did you teach Xinyi all this time when I was away? The cat’s name is not Luosifen, it’s Lola.”

“Whatever,” Junhui rolls his eyes at his boyfriend’s meticulousness. “That cat’s kinda dumb, whatever we call her she answers. Luosifen!” A loud meow proves him right, Junhui smirks in place of a “see?” and plants a kiss onto Wonwoo’s cheek.

“My god,” Minghao covers his eyes and fakes a gag. “You two seriously haven't changed at all. It’s not even five yet, get a room!”

“Oh come on,” Not affected by his best friend’s complaint at the slightest, Junhui leans his weight onto Wonwoo pliantly, hands around his neck. “You’ve dealt with us for so many years already, one more night wouldn’t kill you. Right, Wonwoo?”

“For Minghao’s well-being, I do think you should stop,” Wonwoo deadpans, only his inaction to get Junhui off of him says otherwise. 

“Wonwon—”

“You two can just make out right here if you please. I’m going to the kitchen to help myself,” The feigned disgust dissolves into an easeful smile as soon as Minghao shoves them out of the way, entering the apartment like his own. Oh, he has missed this. 

❀

“So, Uncle Junhui,” After learning the fact that Wonwoo and Junhui were also college mates, Xinyi swallows the bok choy in her mouth and raises her spoon like a judge’s hammer. “Between daddy and Uncle Wonwoo, who do you like more?”

Whereas Wonwoo is left completely dumbfounded by the question, Junhui cackles loudly: “Oh my dear, you are so adorable!”

“She’s in that comparison phase right now,” Minghao explains while trying to convince her to put the spoon down, “She’s been asking me to pick and choose between everything–jeans or leather pants? Ocean or mountain? Green or yellow? And sometimes the questions don’t even make sense! What did you ask me yesterday, honey?”

“If you want to be a pig that lives forever, or to have lots and lots of money but no friends,” Xinyi repeats her question that rivals the same level of difficulty of an Olympics maths problem, winning more laughter from Junhui. “But don’t interrupt me, daddy! Uncle Junhui, who do you choose?”

Junhui looks at his boyfriend teasingly. “If I have to choose a best friend, that will be your daddy for sure.”

“Be careful with what you say,” Smiling with his arms crossed in front of his chest, Wonwoo warns with his husky voice. “You know what the price is if you get this wrong.”

Perhaps intimidated by what the warning implies, Junhui hurries to make amends for his previous answer. “But I can’t really compare Uncle Wonwoo to your daddy. So the question is invalid!”

“You can’t cheat like that!” The judge is obviously dissatisfied with the twist.

“I’m being honest!” Junhui defends himself, “They belong to different categories for me.”

“What do you mean?”

Junhui glances at Minghao. The latter has told him through text earlier that Xinyi will have to learn about their relationship sooner or later, but Junhui isn’t sure if it is okay with Minghao for him to expose Xinyi to the sensitive topic right after their conversation. A reassuring nod, Junhui receives his friend’s signal and organizes his words. 

“Well, your daddy is my best friend, but Uncle Wonwoo isn’t really a friend.” Junhui says, watching her reaction attentively, “Uncle Wonwoo is… my boyfriend.” 

All three adults hold their breaths. 

Xinyi tilts her head. “Oh.” And gives nothing more.

Nervous because of her unguessable expression, Junhui takes the discussion back to where it started. “And that’s why I can’t choose between them! I want both of them in my life, in different ways.”

“That _is_ hard to choose,” Xinyi agrees and lets Junhui slide with the question. “Uncle Wonwoo?”

The usual coldness on Wonwoo’s face melts on cue. “Hmm?”

“I’m so jealous of you.”

“What?”

“I’m so jealous that you have a pretty boyfriend like Uncle Junhui!” she whines, “I promised myself that I will only marry someone who is as pretty as Uncle Junhui when I grow up. I haven’t found that person yet, but you already did! I’m so jealous!”

“Oh my god, Xinyi! What–What are you– We aren’t married yet what are you talking about?!” Blushing like a ripe tomato, Junhui begins to ramble with his overheating brain, “We don’t even know when we are getting married–” Before he goes on to anything inappropriate, Wonwoo stuffs a sweet potato in his boyfriend’s mouth to shut him up.

“But I guess it’s fair,” Xinyi sighs sophisticatedly, “If I am as good looking as Uncle Wonwoo, maybe I would have found my person already.”

Minghao, whose tense muscles relaxed as Xinyi didn't show any obvious negative reactions, chimes in after Wonwoo thanks her for the compliment. “Don’t worry, dear. You are beautiful the way you are, and I’m sure you will find your person.”

Assured by her father, Xinyi takes a few more bites in satisfaction. Minghao picks up the conversation on a lighter tone. “Speaking of college, now that I’m friendly with Mingyu again, maybe I should contact Seokmin again. Have any of you guys talked to him over the years?”

Junhui, finished his sweet potato by now, wipes around the corners of his mouth. “Yeah, we are mutuals on Instagram so I see his updates sometimes. He’s a pretty successful musical actor now, Wonwoo and I went to see one of his shows not long ago.”

“Who’s that?” Xinyi pokes Minghao’s arm to get his attention.

“Uncle Seokmin–you will like him,” Minghao smiles, wiping a grain of rice off of her face. “He is an old friend of Mr. Kim and I back in college. I haven’t really talked to him since we graduated, though.”

Xinyi, enjoying the ambiance of a casual family dinner setting for her first time tonight, makes a request. “Can I meet him? Maybe we can invite him to a dinner like this, daddy. Mr. Kim too! I like this.”

“I don’t know if they will be willing to come, but sure I can ask, sweetie.”

Amazed by Minghao’s speedy acceptance, Junhui arches a brow. “So let me guess, becoming friends again with Mingyu was also part of my genius Xinyi darling’s work, wasn’t it?”

With a prideful nod, Xinyi turns a deaf ear to Minghao’s playful reproach. 

❀

“And Xinyi, dear, let me tell you–” Tipsy already after three glasses of wine, Seokmin points at Mingyu with his chopsticks, “Your Mr. Kim? Regardless of how nice and gentle he looks right now, he used to be _so_ mean to your daddy.”

“Would you mind not ruining my image in front of my student?” Mingyu knocks off the threatening chopsticks with his own, “Xinyi, you have to believe me. It was your daddy who started being mean to me first!”

Judging the truthfulness of his words, Xinyi turns to Minghao. “Was it you, daddy?”

Minghao shakes his head with the most innocent, harmless expression that he has ever worn ever since the day of his birth. “Absolutely not, Xinyi. Does daddy look like someone that would fight a person for no reason?”

“Yah! Stop lying!”

“Yeah, I believe my daddy.”

Seokmin laughs at the dejected Mingyu mercilessly. “My god, Minghao, you are such a natural actor! You should come audition at our theater sometime.”

“Only I’m not acting,” Minghao squishes Xinyi’s cheeks in bliss, half in his drunkenness and half in winning over Mingyu, a nostalgic sense of victory that he hasn’t felt in almost a decade.

“I see, watching me lose still brings you that much joy,” Mingyu scoffs as he takes several gulps of wine in irritation, holding in a curse in the presence of his beloved student.

“It always does,” Minghao raises his glass to clink against Mingyu’s midair, purposely to provoke him. “Back in the college days, anything about you? A competition for me. And I wanted to see you lose in every single one of them.”

“Really? Even after–” Realizing he might have said the wrong thing, Seokmin immediately sobers up and swallows the remaining part of his sentence. But Minghao doesn’t seem offended by it at all; opposite to how Seokmin assumes he would react, he grins and answers: “Well, not to the same degree. But still, yeah. Even after _that_.”

Mingyu, of course, knows what they are referring to. He glances at Xinyi subconsciously, nervous that she might catch something and ask questions. But luckily she’s too busy trying to crack open a salted crab that she didn’t pay attention to what they just said.

Whatever Seokmin thought he knew about the current status of his two old-time friends, he is now confused. Why suddenly doesn’t talking about the past seem to bother Minghao, when he was the one who left the country without a heads up? Are they, magically, starting on a clean slate again? And Mingyu, why isn’t he talking back to Minghao when the latter is obviously trying to piss him off? And why is he instead avoiding both of their eyes by fidgeting with a porcelain chopstick holder? What is going on? _Have I drunk too much that I am not following?_

“But I would admit though,” Minghao’s voice softens, abruptly. “There is one thing that I haven’t won over you, Kim Mingyu.”

If he is curious, it doesn’t show. He sets the gadget down. “Oh, there’s definitely more than one. You are just too embarrassed to accept the fact that you are the one who always loses.”

Minghao ignores the snarky comment. “You were… are always better at preparing surprises.”

Crab sauce dripping down the corner of her mouth, Xinyi lifts her head. “Oh! Mr. Kim, I forgot to tell you, but daddy really liked the sandbag that I made for him. And I think partly it’s because you told me to surprise him with it!”

Now, he’s supposed to be making a remark on his victory to poke fun at Minghao. But instead, all Mingyu feels is an ever-expanding tenderness with a pricking sore stirring in his stomach. 

“Speaking of surprises,” Carefully observing the air, Seokmin wittily shifts the direction of the conversation before it’s too late. “Jeonghan-hyung recently gave me a big surprise! I invited him to my sister’s wedding along with some other friends, we all dressed up so nicely like we were the ones going down the aisle, but he–the man of trickery–was tripped that day and showed up in his tracksuits! Could you believe that?”

He saves the mood successfully with the episode, winning some good laughs from both Mingyu and Minghao. Only Xinyi, not knowing who Jeonghan is, decides to focus on something else. “Why did you dress up so nicely, Uncle Seokmin? Were you getting married too?”

_Oh shit. Why did I decide to tell this episode out of all the surprise-related ones possible?!_ “Uhem… No, dear,” Seokmin coughs up a laugh to hide his panic. “I just wanted to look nice, because it was a big day–once in a lifetime kind of thing–for my sister.”

“But _are_ you going to get married?” 

“If I meet a someone that makes me want to live with them forever for the rest of my life, sure.”

“A someone, like a girlfriend?”

_Where is this conversation going?!_ “Sure, like a girlfriend.”

“Do you have a girlfriend, Uncle Seokmin?”

Seokmin hears Minghao giggle at her never-ending questions, which brings him to laugh along. “Yeah, I do.”

“Well, I know daddy doesn’t have a girlfriend,” _No, no, girl, don’t go there–_ “Mr. Kim, do you?”

The lightheartedness freezes in the room. Mingyu’s slacking shoulders visibly stiffen. 

“No,” he says, honestly.

“Have you _ever_ had a girlfriend?”

“Xinyi honey–” 

Minghao tries to interrupt her interrogation, but Mingyu doesn't seem to mind answering: “No. I’ve never had a girlfriend in my life.”

“That’s a shame,” Xinyi exclaims, “Mr. Kim, you are such a good man. The girls who don’t want to date you must all be blind!”

“I will take that as a compliment,” Mingyu chuckles lightly as he takes a few more sips of wine.

❀

After Seokmin leaves for rehearsal, the three of them left chat some more before Minghao calls time for Xinyi to go to bed. Nagging her tirelessly until she finally gives in and says her good night reluctantly, Minghao rolls up his sleeve to begin his clean up.

“Let me help,” Mingyu offers. He stacks up the plates and bowls to take to the sink, and the host doesn’t stop him like the rules of etiquette require him to. 

“Appreciate it,” he simply says. 

He really does. If he needs to do it all by himself, extensive dishwashing and table wiping can take him at least an hour. But with Mingyu’s hand, they cut the time in half.

By the time they are done, Minghao tiptoes over to check on Xinyi. The girl has already wandered off to dreamland cuddling her teddy bear–a magically soothing sight that always brings Minghao comfort even if the world is ending tomorrow. 

“Is she asleep?” Wiping his hands dry with a dish towel, Mingyu asks, his voice thoughtfully lowered.

“Yeah,” Minghao picks up his keys as Mingyu gathers his coat and bag, “C’mon. I will walk you down to the lobby.”

In the dim corridor, Mingyu walks, slowly, about three steps ahead of Minghao. 

Maybe it being late and them not wanting to disturb the neighbors is one reason, they do not talk on their way out. The air condenses and condenses with each step they take, the white LED of the apartment lobby at the turn of the corner shines brighter and brighter. No matter how long they hope to drag the short walking distance out with their pace, nothing is endless. 

They are getting there. The end of the night. 

Both of Mingyu’s feet land on the ground floor. He stops. Minghao also halts his steps a couple of meters behind.

“About what Xinyi brought up during dinner today.”

“Yeah?”

“I wasn’t lying when I said I’ve had zero girlfriends in my life.”

“... I know.”

“And if you would believe me,” Mingyu’s voice is shaky. “Only one boyfriend.”

Minghao thinks he knows what Mingyu is about to say. But he waits–if he has grown to take up one thing in these eight years, it would be patience. His heart pounds, not so erratic yet forcefully in his chest. He remains expressionless, though, which only fuels Mingyu’s rising anxiousness. 

“And… you said on that night that you couldn’t find anyone that clicks with you either.” Mingyu closes his eyes so he doesn’t stare at Minghao too hard. When he reopens them, they are washed with sincerity and expectancy, wet and dainty. “If I promise to try harder–a lot harder, my hardest this time…

“Are you willing to give us another chance?”

Not me, but _us_. As if they have never separated, as if they are meant to meet again at the end of the road in spite of the twists and turns that they have gone through before this moment. Us. 

Three steps, two steps, one. Minghao steps down to the lowest, and the last step. 

Gently tossing his arms around Mingyu, he buries his head where the taller’s neck meets the shoulder. Even though it’s slightly different, probably a change in the brand, Mingyu still smells like baby’s oil. 

“I am willing,” he whispers, fingers trembling. “Are you?”

Wasn’t expecting him to throw the question right back, Mingyu blanks out for a few seconds before he finds himself wrapping his arms around Minghao’s waist, mindlessly, in a tentative embrace. 

“I am, too,” he says, relieved when Minghao stays unmoved to be hugged. He squeezes him tighter. “Of course I am, otherwise why would I ask? _Dumbass._ ”


	5. Epilogue: 우리, 다시

_Recommended bgm: 우리, 다시 (Us, Again) - SEVENTEEN_

↣ ⧪ ↢

To protect Xinyi from any potential rumors, Minghao and Mingyu do not tell her that they are dating until she graduates from Smile Flower Kindergarten. But when they do, however, she doesn’t seem surprised at all.

“I kind of knew,” she gazes back and forth between the two, making them almost uncomfortable with her scrutinization. “Should I change how to call you, Uncle Mingyu?”

Well, Mingyu himself doesn’t even know what would be an appropriate title to be given to him. He shrugs, “I don’t know, but whatever you are comfortable with is fine with me, darling.”

So Mingyu moves in together with Minghao, without an official title, while Xinyi moves on to elementary school, but nothing else really changes much. Minghao is still busy with work, trying to earn them a life financially comfortable enough. Mingyu still takes the same subway line to Smile Flower Kindergarten, greeting kids as the homeroom teacher of Sunflower Class, listening to Soonyoung’s scandalous ramble of him and Jihoon’s love life during lunch.

Their life goes on, with Xinyi’s growth as a marker of their time together. They watch her, sadly, grow taller, even smarter. Watch her grow less clingy to Minghao and Mingyu, stop calling Minghao “daddy” and replacing it with a shorter “dad,” stop sharing every single detail of her school life, and begin to close the door to her room when she talks with friends over the phone. 

But these changes are all okay–as her father, Minghao accepts them. He doesn’t know how he would have, though, if he had to be alone through the process. But he doesn’t have to.

_Clang–_

“Dad! Your boyfriend broke something again!” Xinyi, helping Mingyu with cooking in the kitchen, yells across the apartment to report on the accident. Minghao answers from the study by reprimanding Mingyu’s clumsiness, as Xinyi wanted.

“Hey!” Mingyu protests, “that’s a little disrespectful, young lady!”

Xinyi makes a face at him. “But you did break the plate!”

On that night, Mingyu complains about it to Minghao. “Maybe she’s hitting puberty already. I’ve always thought her to be more mature than kids her age. She’s definitely in that rebel phase.”

Minghao puts the book in hand aside on the end table, scooching under the duvet to peck on Mingyu’s pouty lips. “What? You don’t like her calling you that?”

“No,” Mingyu sighs. “It’s not that.”

Minghao knows that’s only half true. “Let’s get married then.”

“What did you say?”

Minghao blinks. “Let’s get married.”

Mingyu watches him with his jaw dropped open. “Are you being serious?”

“Yeah I am,” Minghao laughs, “That way you count as her dad too, as my husband.”

_Wow. Husband._ The word carries much more weight than Mingyu has wanted it to, but he doesn’t dislike it. “You are not going to get down on one knee or something, at the very least? You are expecting me to accept a plain proposal like this?”

Minghao glares at him. “Sorry to disappoint, Mr. Romantic. Are you accepting it or not?”

Mingyu smiles. He is not the same person when they first broke up anymore–the insecurities–he’s over with the formalistic romance for the show by now, at the age of 35. _This is so Xu Minghao of him_ is all he thinks when he kisses Minghao, the hours, days, and years they spent together rolling out the back of his mind like a red carpet, waiting for him to take the final stride.

“Yes, yes I am.”

**_“When you walk in the dark night_ **

**_Don’t do it yourself, I’m here_ **

**_Bright light seeps in, it brightens the darkness_ **

**_We sing together again, until that day_ **

**_This path to you will never end”_ **

_\- Fin -_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading up to here! If you came from the original twitter au, I am so so thankful for your support along the way of creation of this fic. If you are new to the story, wow. Thank you for making it till the end–I hope you enjoyed the journey! But I do recommend, still, for those who are new, to read the text part of this au on twitter. It explains a lot of the characters’ motivations for their actions and might clear things up for you! 
> 
> This fic has turned out to be much more dear to me than I have expected. It captures the perfect domestic gyuhao dynamics in my mind that I don’t think I will be attempting to write another domestic single parent gyuhao fic after this, at least not in the very near future. But my cc is open for anyone who wants to request little episodes/drabbles of gyuhao with Xinyi from this universe if you would like to see more of their interactions :)
> 
> Another reason that I have developed more attachment to this fic is that there are also a lot of thoughtful designs put into the writing of this. References to SVT, metaphors, echoes here and there, and many many more implied psychological transitions that Mingyu and Minghao go through. You might have not noticed them (which I would love to elaborate on if you are interested), but if you have, please don’t be shy to share your observations with me! I would really really appreciate it, truly.
> 
> Alright, sorry about the long ending notes! I hope you enjoyed reading it, and please feel free to find me on twt@machereombre or cc@mydearsilhouette. I’d love to talk more about this universe or anything about gyuhao~
> 
> See y'all in the next fic;)
> 
> ~silhouette


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